I don’t hold grudges, but I never forget anything.
– 20something London Lady’s mum
This phrase used to baffle me beyond belief. Often used when they’re “not angry, just disappointed.”
But it’s the same thing! What’s the damn difference?? If you never forget a wrongdoing, surely you are always holding a grudge against the wrongdoer?!
My younger self couldn’t understand this phrase for several reasons. When you’re a teenager, everything is important. Like end-of-the-world levels important. Someone copied your hairstyle? Nuh-uh. Someone didn’t invited you to their party? Ooosh. Being wronged by someone hurts, and it hurts hard.
It was only recently I truly understood the meaning of this phrase. I hadn’t ever really experienced anything that warranted the use of this phrase, until my ex shared intimate, sexual photos of me after we split.
I refuse to call myself a victim of revenge porn, but revenge porn is what it was.
I refuse to use the word victim because I refuse to let this experience define me and my future in a negative way.
I refuse to hold a grudge against you for what you did, you aren’t worthy of the time or energy it takes to hold a grudge. But I will never, ever, forget what you did.